Screw stand up paddle boarding
Miles Masterson vents his frustration as the 'Stand Up Paddleboard Apocalypse' sweeps his homebreak.
More like this...
"SUPS... The Next Big Thing in Surfing... You gotta get one!" Bet you've heard that recently, right? Call me shallow, but as a devoted shortboarder I reckon screw 'em. Us poor regular surf folk already have to deal with ignorant kooks, wave hog longboarders, gormless bodyboarders, the odd useless goat boat and crippled kneelo... now we have to compete with these stand-up paddle goons too?
These hodads, for whom the only requirements are general fitness and basic pedestrian balance, seem poised to take over the world’s line-ups. Can you think of anything worse? I call it the 'Stand Up Paddleboard Apocalypse', or 'Armaggedon of the One Armed Paddlers'. Either way, it could end the world of surfing as we know it. After all, this is a surfboard (term used loosely here) you can literally ride on a ripple. Turncoat surfers who buy paddleboards aside, the doomsday scenario is if the greater public discover the stand up paddling “work out” en mass, which is already happening. Most popular urban beaches are a nightmare as it is. No room to swing a rashvest. If the SUP elbows its way into the remaining gap, we could conceivably be overwhelmed by these graceless, throwback buffoons with their oversized spoons.
Anyone selling SUPs will be stoked of course, but not the rest of us normal surfers trying to avoid these potential super wave hogs. Even the longboarders are getting bummed. And unlike mal riders, who still require a basic understanding of line up dynamics and surf etiquette (even if these are mostly ignored), as well as rudimentary paddle out and take off skills, SUPs arguably require none, bar said ability to stand upright and dig, which any monkey can do. At most breaks with a decent channel, it's therefore a cinch for Wilbur SUP pilot to wobble about, even if it's pitching thick out the back. Just heave ho and you are out there. Before long SUPs could easily become a factor at most average surfbreaks, where surfers won’t even have to ever duckdive, or learn to respect the better surfers in the water, in order to get waves.
Predictably, stand up supporters have protested that the SUP is a good workout and a functional wave-riding machine, and promise that they will not be pigs in the water. But isn’t that what the post-revival longboarders all said, and now look at them on a mellow four foot day at your local. And whilst Robbie Naish can indeed ride an SUP at Pipe or Laird or Teehaupo, not everyone has those skill levels, let alone jock suburbanites with more money than sense.
Indeed, throw a couple of clueless or selfish iron man SUP riders - eggbeating into waves from far out the back - into the organised chaos of a good rush hour session and watch the tension mount. It wouldn’t take many, maybe three or four SUPs, calling everyone from sets, to completely transform the mellowest rotation and irk even the most chilled locals. What’s more, as these SUP scum will conveniently bypass any rites of passage to the ocean, they will of course have to be heckled by indignant regular surfers. As a result there will probably be fights - although maybe only for the most aggressive and surf rage afflicted. Think about it: would you really hurl abuse at some buff gym pratt looming above you in the water holding a massive carbon fibre paddle above your head?
Before long, in a far worse rendition of the longboard revival, SUPs could start to dominate sessions and it will be a case of beat 'em or join 'em - or drive somewhere else, where there will probably be more SUPS anyway, multiplying along the coast like foot rot in a shower. It’s a future too bleak to contemplate, although for places like Hawaii, it’s apparently already too late. In fact, if these SUP boards and their inept riders take over, it will do nothing but drag our sport back into prehistory. In my opinion, in terms of progressing surfing, the SUP arguably lies somewhere beneath your granny riding a lilo at Newquay. For that reason alone, I will never get a SUP.
Well, that and the fact that I can’t afford one.
Subscribe to HUCK for six issues
Only £20 (UK) / £43 (EU) / £58 (Rest of the World).
Screw stand up paddle boarding (text) by Miles Masterson is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.Comments (81)
Please note: Your comment may be held in moderation for approval by an administrator to prevent spamming. This usually doesn't take long, please be patient.
http://moodsofthebay.blogspot......ip.html
Niegà
P.S.: Regards to Vince M.
Work out or not, things have changed on the small wave days when the Sup'ers are out in force. If you have an ounce of balance then you can catch some waves without too much trouble.
Anthony Crute
http://www.pro-ride.com
Pro Ride Snowboard Camps
If a stand up paddler or any surfer is grabbing waves out of line, with respect to the local lineup and pecking order, you have two choices, let him know or complain about it to everyone else. Only one will solve the problem. It's articles like this that plant the seeds of rage that have no foundation. The tone of your article seems that even if everyone were riding the same board size and shape as you and if everyone was giving you all the sets, you'd still sit disgruntled in the lineup complaining about the waves.
Stand up paddling is helping so many people discover a love of the ocean that they have never before experienced. . . and rediscover a love they lost when they forgot that surfing isn't only about the waves. Try it my friend. Aloha.
I never complain about waves though, only wave hogs of any kind! But as I said, I'd love to try Stand Up but I can't afford one ha ha and that's why the article was written with my tongue firmly in my cheek so chill a bit there dude.
BTW I'm in Cape Town, South Africa.
Aloha
Miles
Anthony
http://www.pro-ride.com
Pro Ride Snowboard Camps
if you're gonna catch a wave you gotta work for it, and paddle surfers are taking the easy way out in my eyes. paddle surfers sould be out in the big wide ocean, not in the surf hoggin the swell. x
About wave grabbing. I agree that a big stick is not license to hog the swell. If someone is actually grabbing all the waves, let them know in a civilized manner. I've told other stand up paddlers that their grabbing too many waves, and they respect that and ease up. Watch carefully before you speak though. Yesterday, I was out surfing the inside waves that all the longboarders and shortboarders didn't want. I had a killer session with tons of waves. I didn't steal anyone's swell. I was only surfing the leftovers and there were tons more leftovers than set waves coming through.
When you get good you can rip and get barrelled on a shorter SUP. You can access sharky and inaccessable breaks with little worry. Let the shortboarders go on cursing and hating when they see some one having too much fun doing something they can't do and their ego won't let them try.
Well said Miles !
'so funny how some people take themselves so seriously and don't actually read things properly and what's more don't realise the whole article is a pisstake'
That's the point suggest you check
http://www.surfingivan.wordpre.....ss.com
properly - in particular Entry for December 17, 2007 ref overcrowding. Or are real surfers the only ones allowed to take the p1$$ - You started the biblical analagies baby - Peace
The picture you paint here I really don't recognise. Having been a short boarder for over 20 years myself I am aware of the attitude that short boarder have towards anyone else in the line up, but since actually trying SUP and realising what an amazing sport it is, and the ability it gives you to surf new breaks I have been converted.
Its all about repect. I can name and I see countless surfers, dropping in on each other, giving the stink eye and having a bad attitude, SUPers are just an easy target for wave rage.
You need to move beyond your prejudice, open your mind and expand your water skills.
Matt
http://www.supglobal.com
I think that you are wrong, the responses that you have had here suggest you are wrong and my experience of surfers in the lineup from the point of view of a 'turncoat' surfer and now paddle boarder says that you are wrong. Yes there is banter between spongers, goat boaters,short boarders, loggers, and now sweepers - there always will be that's life but the majority know that IT'S JUST BANTER. Can't you see that? You cant then just dismiss your rant as a piss take - as a writer you have a responsibility to your audience some of whom will take on board your words. You are not only fuelling a fire that may not there - you could responsible for lighting it.
Calling anyone 'Goons' 'Scum' 'Crippled' 'Pratts' just because you don't agree with them or understand them says more about you, your issues and background than anything else. Where did you say that you are from?
You're not the first person to take issue with the skill part, which always seems a bit odd to me. I find it harder to surf a SUP than a longboard and I've been doing SUP for two years. Yes, paddling a longboard back out to the lineup is tough work sometimes, and you need to learn to pop up. Other than that the skills are identical except the sup boards' width and sometimes length make them a little harder to toss around. And then you need to learn a whole bandoleer worth of paddle techniques. Admittedly for a geezer like me, not having to totter to my feet in a wave is a plus. But I'm one of those turncoat longboarders--already knew how to do that.
I guess the point might be that paddling with your arms and popping up are the most difficult elements of surfing, which is probably why contests score them so highly.
Seriously though, nice blog. I'm going to dig through all your posts and find some inspiration for my e-magazine. For that matter, if you like to contribute an article or two, it would be most welcome. it's at http://www.kenalu.com
Kinda like going to a bar and saying, "who is the best looking girl here tonight that I can dance with" rather than "I sure hope there is a 5'8" blond with C cups here or I'm gonna have a boring night".
A mind is like a window. It only lets in fresh air if its open.
surf is good and talk is cheap.
Not only are people that "have surfed in the past" getting back to the water - but land locked people that don't / can't surf are getting out on the water and having a fun time.
I can catch 1 foot wind blown waves on a lake in northern Canada - - sure is fun!
I hate crowds as much as the next guy. But any anti-SUP sentiment sounds alot like extreme localism, bordering on some kind of transferred prejudice.
"we don't want your kind around here. Now git boy!"
anyone else ever hear that in another context? downtown? said to another ethnicity?
everyone was a kook at one time or another. Now that you're cool, try not to shit on the kooks. Remember, someone gave you a chance once.
Feed the stoke, don't kill it.
Luke Egan
Joel Parkinson
Jamie O'brien
Rasta
Tom Carrol
Pottz
Damien Hobgood
Kalani Robb....
...and probably plenty more
Miles, are you going to hate on these guys? I'm tipping they aren't doing it for the fitness either, more likely for the fun of it and for something to do in smaller waves. I had friends with a similar opinion to you but after spending more time in the water with SUPers they are starting to look at it in a different light.
I hope you give it a go one day.
SUP forever
(oh, I hope you know that this whole article is just a pisstake, which obviously validates all the selfish, ignorant, rude and downright arrogant opinions expressed above...)
Aloha
Don't let the world know about the SUP covert agenda, or the master plan will be ruined.
Mwhahahahaha (evil laugh).
SUP Forever and a day.
And just for emphasis,
(oh, I hope you know that this whole article is just a pisstake, which obviously validates all the selfish, ignorant, rude and downright arrogant opinions expressed above...)
Later morning...catch a beautiful left on the outside set...coming in, make a quick sharp right turn...see a FLEET of inside paddle boarders, teaching lessons to the tourists...tried to get off my board in time before crashing into one because she could not move fast enough to the left side...tried to grab my board...wasn't quick enough...collided...her large paddle board fin cut 6 inches into the nose of my longboard...
Then she just paddled away and simply said, "These things just happen in the water." Just happen? I just bought my new 8"6, exactly one month ago! On the defense I snapped back of course...then she snapped back and took NO responsibility and went on to teach her lesson...by myself...couldn't do much...sadly I paddle in with a large, expensive cut in my board...
Hawaiian man on the beach I stopped to ask if he knew any "teacher" paddle boarders at Puaena...he said that most of them don't even have their licenses and are teaching illegally...they "think" they have the right of way in the water, he continued, and he tries his best to avoid them in the water. Paddle boarders are taking over everything...I'm so discouraged as a surfer...I was 1 out of 2 longboarders out there...I counted 12 paddle boarders around me...I'm tired of fighting over the wave with the paddle boarders who paddle and take everything because they can see the wave farther then us "regular" surfers in the "normal" line-up...they not only crowd the water, but when they are unexperienced, they can't move out of the way fast enough and it can be very dangerous...my advice...careful for the large paddle boarders...they can cause serious damage...
I'm sorry you had this run in.
I'm bummed that you had a incident with a SUPer. I surf all kids of boards so I can look at it openly and most SUP guys in the line-up know the rules and do what they can to share waves. From what you said it sounds like it could have been anyone sitting there and you would have run into them.
Don't skateboarders hate longboarders?
Don't BMXers with no brakes hate BMXers with brakes? Don't kids who wear Reebok hate on kids who wear adidas?
It's all the same
Seems like a lot of crystal ball talk. Apart from a few places across the globe, there is not an infestation of Stand Up Paddle guys in the line ups. Where I surf we keep ourselves seperated and there are no problems and to be honest I've yet to see any issues at all with SUP, and I travel and surf all over the world.
As a sport it has to be the most self aware. You can't move more than a few clicks on an SUP site without bumping into the do's and don'ts of SUP in the surf and every SUP rider I have ever met is more than a little aware of the dos and don'ts. On the other hand I see 100 prone surfers dropping in on each other everyday.
For sure there will be issues, but then there is with whatever you ride. It's not the end of the world by a long stretch and despite people thinking it's a cheats way to surf, SUP in waves is not all easy take offs and no duckdives.
I still ride various surfboards and stand up boards. I'm always willing to give people a go on my boards. With an open mind there are days that are better on an SUP and there are days that are better on a prone board. Riding a range of boards does amazing things for your riding style and experience. It's not for everyone and that's fine, but until there is a regular, major problem in the line ups a lot of this talk is all based on nothing but idle doom and gloom. I really don't ever see it being a problem.
Just don't forget that you surf for fun and relaxation. If it's causing you so much stress you want to shout and abuse someone, whatever they are riding, then I suggest you take a long hard look at your life. Hopefully you still have two arms, two legs and breath in and out every few seconds - lifes good, don't let someones surfing choice get you down. If they need a little action correction, let them know. I assure you that asking calmly will get you further and keep that blood pressure down.
If I turn up in the local park with a different shaped ball I don't expect to have any problems. If I turn up with that ball and try and invade on someone else's game of football then I'm going to cause problems. Same goes for the surf - try and find some space for whatever you ride. The one beauty of SUP is that it's pretty easy to find space as you can take off on fatter peaks and not get in anyones way.
Relax, wait for the next set and try and remember why you took up surifng in the first place - fun and enjoyment. There's another set just over the horizion - ask the guy on the SUP he'll tell you what's coming ;-)
J
For example. http://magicseaweed.com/commun.....t=16352
http://www.StandUpPaddleFlatwa.....ter.com
Since I started out as a prone paddler and I understand how much it sucks to surf with wave hogging A holes, I always give everyone plenty of room. Never drop in. Never cherry pick set waves. I'd rather ride slop and leftover garbage if it is crowded, and I still have fun. Yet, I still get occasional wise ass comments from other surfers. Usually about being so young and riding an 'old fart's board', or for 'cheat surfing'. I just shrug my shoulders and move on, cuz when its knee-high slop for weeks on end, I'm out having the time of my life practicing my footwork at empty breaks while everyone else is sitting at home looking at advertisements in surfer magazine.
SUPing is just not 'core'. It requires more external materials, more gear... and frankly, for surfers who love the ocean -- it's more wasteful! I'm more intrigued by these Alaia boards because they are less impactful on the environment than even the smallest of short boards.
SUP = SUV!
Long time no see! Am in CPT all the time, so let me hook you up a SUP session sometime? Promise, no extreme beer sessions to be involved!
Chat soon I hope!
Rob
Naish Africa
http://www.naishafrica.com
I still think SUP is lame though and I would rather kayak when it is flat. If that makes me an idiot, so be it.
And let's be honest.. shops are pushing these boards to just about anyone, and at over $1000 a pop they are making a killing.
No worries though, in 5 years they will be over it and you'll be finding these cheap at the local yard sales.
the whole SUP thang is evolving potatoechip lips.
pig
If you SUP & ENJOY, then you should SUP & DEPLOY!
Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....rVSm4yM
What we need and SUP zones because simply they are REALLY dangerous in the lineups.
The funny thing about SUP is the varied adoption rate around different parts of the globe. I live in a surf-centric are called Pacific Beach, San Diego, but it's also a youth-centric area. The average resident age is probably 25-30. Quite frequently, I take my beach cruiser to my office just down the beach and it's a rare day when I'll even see one SUP in the waves (and this is 2010 in SoCal). There are always maybe a hundred or so surfers on any given morning. Go up the coast to "North County" and you'll see a dozen stand up paddle surfers on some of the more wide open breaks. It's also an older area. There's definitely a correlation. I haven't seen Hawaii lately, but I've heard SUP is becoming a sizable percentage of the people in the water. The problems seem to sort themselves out, and the reality is that 90% of the SUP market is flatwater nowadays. There's a reason less than 1% of the population in the US surfs as that's about the number of people that are willing to venture into the somewhat dangerous surf zone. I don't think the existence of stand up paddle boarding changes that fact.
It should be interesting to see how this all plays out over the next few years as SUP really starts to permeate Southern California.
Stephan
Tower
A Must Read!
Miles - your rant isn't useful, insightful or intelligent.
Miles, your article was superficial and ill-informed. I was under the impression that surfers practised peace, love and respect. I guess, in your case, not.
What I am, is a watersports enthusiast (a Windsurfer, if I had to add a label).
For years, I stuck to my little sails and short windsurfing boards, and sat on the beach moaning that the wind wasn't right, the waves weren't right, the tide wasn't right etc etc.
Then I moaned about the kitesurfers coming along with their new sport that anyone can learn, doesn't take much skill, blah blah blah...
Anyway, I got over it when I grew up a bit. Nowadays I have a battered old van that contains a range of toys for the water including various windsurfing kit (covers the windsurfing equivalent of short boards, long boards etc) along with body boards, a smallish surfboard (still learning) AND a SUP.
The bodyboards have been great for when there is no wind, but plenty of waves - so more time on the beach and the water.
However, the SUP has now filled the gap when the waves are small to non existant PLUS I can now explore the coastline, and I've even paddled lakes and rivers.
For me it's all about loving the water and enjoying life. Whether it's SUP, Windsurfing, Surfing, Longboards, Shortboards, Skiing or Snowboarding (or even Kitesurfing :-) ) it's all good.
What makes it work are the people. And in my experience, it's only when the person with the ego arrives, it all goes wrong. Manners cost nothing, respect is free. Happiness is priceless.
Peace.